Sunday, November 24, 2013

When you say "the new math" what is this based on?....Is there any evidence to suggest a significant


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When I picked vanity fair 1998 up the Style section of The New York Times last Sunday, I was excited to see the front-page feature, " The New Math on Campus ," a look at how the gender imbalance on college campuses (60 percent women, 40 percent men at some schools) is affecting the dating scene. I research, write , and lecture on sex, romance, and abstinence on college campuses, and especially on how these life experiences relate to students' quest for meaning in general and spiritual and religious commitments in particular. The article quoted young women bemoaning the dearth of datable guys at UNC Chapel Hill, which they say means all the guys get to be players—at least for a while, living it up with any girl they want because the girls are desperate: "A lot of my friends will meet someone and go home for the night and just hope for the best the next morning," Ms. Lynch said. "They'll text them and say: 'I had a great time. Want to hang out next week?' And they don't respond." Even worse, "Girls feel pressured to do more than they're comfortable with, to lock it down," Ms. Lynch said.
This kind of talk from women on campus is something I hear all the time during vanity fair 1998 lecture visits to university campuses and in my research. So I wasn't surprised when reporter Alex Williams mentioned vanity fair 1998 hookup culture. He turned to sociologist Kathleen Bogle, author of Hooking Up: Sex, Dating, and Relationships on Campus , for more information.
"Women do not want to get left out in the cold, so they are competing for men on men's terms," [Bogle] wrote. "This results in more casual hookup encounters that do not end up leading to more serious romantic relationships. Since college women say they generally want 'something vanity fair 1998 more' than just a casual hookup, women end up losing out."
Yes, this is true; women do say this, and my research supports it. But there is another side to the story that we don't hear often enough. It's something many college men say when safely behind closed doors, about how they like hookup culture about as much as the women do—which is to say, they don't like it one bit . They just feel pressured to say they do in public. While it's socially acceptable for women to admit that hooking up is not for them, it's generally considered social suicide for a man to say the same thing.
While I was reassured that Williams quoted a few guys on campus who said they didn't simply want to take advantage vanity fair 1998 of all the "bed-hopping" available, overall I worry that this front-and-center NYT piece about dating on campus vanity fair 1998 is going to exacerbate what is likely mostly myth: that not only are college students hooking up all the time and loving it, but that at colleges where there is a greater gender imbalance, guys go even crazier vanity fair 1998 with hookups so it's even better for the guys, and girls just have to live with it and join in. My guess is that your average guy on campus is not interested in bed-hopping and would rather go on a nice date and find a long-term relationship. But articles like Williams's help to perpetuate and even ratchet up the pressure to hook up all the time and pretend vanity fair 1998 you are loving it, even if you are not.
I have to disagree on a personal level on this issue and a few earlier comments. While on my own campus there seems to be an imbalance, I realized it was only because I saw that none of the many guys were datable in my opinion and many other girls must feel that way as well. However, when I began college I was in a long term, long distance relationship with discussion of marriage before I left home and later in the year reevaluated my priorities. vanity fair 1998 This year I tried to date again. He was a nice christian boy who was waiting for marriage. It just so happened that he was not my type, for character vanity fair 1998 flaws that I will not divulge, but barring that I realized that I am in college and have been happiest when I am single. Admittedly I have not waited for marriage myself, I have participated in this "hook-up culture" without the expectations of, in fact, avidly avoiding in most cases, vanity fair 1998 a relationship. (Not to say that I sleep around, I am selective, careful, and have high standards) I have been told that this is unfeminine of me but perhaps not rightly so. I am young and not looking vanity fair 1998 for, or wanting a relationship until much later, preferably towards the end of college or after. To assume that this is ultra-feminist is unfair to both girls who are being hurt by these pressures as well as painting girls like myself in a harsh light.
When you say "the new math" what is this based on?....Is there any evidence to suggest a significant vanity fair 1998 change in the patterns of behaivour (not actual male/femail ratios) you have described compared with say 20, 30 or 40 years ago?
I'm actually a former UNC student. I spent the majority of my time in college in classes with all women (nursing major) and I never dated anyone at UNC. I had a high school boyfriend who went to NC State, about a 30 minute

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